Friends are a critical component of our lives. Without them life can become monotonous. We need them in our childhood, teens and adulthood. They not only share our joy and happiness but sometimes our pain too. The painful times are what separate the real friends from the superficial ones. It is amazing how I have been friends with some people yet I cannot depend on them. Taking stock of some of my most recent experiences in life, it is very clear to me now who my real friends are. Whereas it may be true that I possibly can have a 100+ friends, but when it comes down to it, I can only probably rely on 2 or 3 friends to be there for me no matter what the situation demands of them. Funny how that works eh? Actually, I am not that surprised because proving one’s friendship is not an easy feat at all. I learned a lot of lessons from a friend in recent times. The most satisfying friendships are built on a foundation of balance and reciprocity. This belief would probably make sense if people close to you would not actually try to break your heart. I was trying to work things out for a friend but he was too blind and too shallow to see all the goodness from my intentions. I have changed a few things about myself because of him. I have learned to be selfish and also to think of myself first before anyone else. Much easier said than done, but all of my life I am so concerned about special people and their interests. It is such a terrible change to put my self’s needs ahead of his. It could be easy for him to go on failing things when I am actually trying my best to help him not to. I was devastated. I felt like my life long dream of building the foundation of our friendship had been crushed and that I was coming to a grinding halt. On his beckoning I did not lose heart. I got ready to understand him; I was not going to give up so easy. I never was a quitter. That time around, I was so forgiving. I tried to make things work now for both of us. I did not succeed. I gave up. I was devastated beyond words. I was embarrassed to tell him that all my efforts had amounted to nothing for the second time for he did not understand what’s going on. I don’t actually expect anything from him, it is better that way. But sometimes I wish I could make him understand that I am losing a part of my heart, leaving it bare every time I would show him that he means a lot to me so he could at least show some appreciation. But he never did, and I am thinking he never even once. I was hurt and so he is. I can forgive, I’m not sure if he can too.
The only question now is - are we still friends? Or the friendship is now over?
The only question now is - are we still friends? Or the friendship is now over?
