Monday, August 18, 2008

LOser


Am I a loser or am I not?
"I dwell on the past. What was and what could have been. It's all gone now and the future looks boring.”
So I have been complaining that I don’t actually deal well much with my life, I am still as boring as usual, just a little less lame this time. Life sucks, I am so sick of giving people who I love emotional pain, it’s pathetic. Almost every word I say seems like a knife that cuts through the heart. I hate being like this. I want God to punish me.
In some eyes, I am cool. In some eyes, I am popular. In some eyes, I am ugly. In some eyes, I am beautiful. In some eyes, I am original. In some eyes, I am preppy. In some eyes, I am nerdy. In some eyes, I am sane. In some eyes, I am crazy. In some eyes, I am a loser. I won't object to any of those labels. I don't mind. Except the last one. That one I DO mind.
I am strong. I am unique. I am true to myself. Correct me if I'm wrong, but those are not characteristics of a loser. I may fail a test. I may screw up that friendship. I may be dumped. I may break down and cry in front of everyone. Does that make me a loser? No. It could. But I build up from the failure, I learn.
I am not a loser, not until I hurt you. What makes me a loser, you ask? The answer could be simple – I am sailing away from you.

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