BEAUTIFUL MISTAKE

Did I lose you yet? Or will I lose you soon? You are a mistake – a beautiful mistake. If I could do it all over again, I would let you make me wrong again.

The most beautiful person I’ve ever known turned out to be the most beautiful mistake I’ve ever done in my life. How can you have a beautiful ending without making beautiful mistakes? What constitutes a mistake? This can only be answered by the one who feels they have made the mistake. This can not be determined by others. This is the BEAUTY of a mistake. You control every mistake you make in your life. I am taking a chance in this life to live it to the fullest. The fact that I have left it all on the table at this point is such a relief. I don't have any regrets and the feeling of anxiety and pure adrenaline are enough to outweigh the outcome, good or bad. The overall feeling is outstanding- everyone should experience that feeling of pure freedom. We are all in control of our feelings and happiness is one that should be experienced by each and every one of us. What kind of mistake could you make that has a beautiful ending? Oh let me think, In pursuit of finding good friends, I actually lost one. Isn’t it very ironic when you’ve put so much efforts in keeping a friend, but it seems so easy sailing away by saying, “don’t expect we will still be friends someday because I don’t want to hurt you again” – not only this is ironic but also painful, real pain that it hit me straight through the heart. I wanted to stop the pain, leave it there and make a permanent reminder of this hurt so I won’t go on breaking my heart over and over again – I am doomed to failure, pain remains the same. It won’t fade, never ceasing. I am deeply hurt and saddened by his words, I couldn’t understand or maybe I just don’t want to understand. I know it wouldn’t be easy to just forget things and move on and embrace tomorrow with an optimistic perspective about life. It would be entirely different without looking forward to another day that spells out happiness because good friends are there, it would be hard but surely I can. There’s more to life than bitterness and animosity, I will stand up for love, this time for myself. The beauty in this mistake lies within the choice of loving me first before anyone else. I will move on, meet new friends and eventually suffer heartbreak, love, and eventually have learned enough from my mistakes to make the next friend of my life the friend for the rest of my life.

EVERYDAY I LOVE YOU

As the dawn breaks when the fresh morn air embraces a new day and when the sun is shining, love becomes a decision I take everyday when I wake up. Everyday is a gift just as what life is. I live each day to love. From the moment I open my eyes comes a thought that a new day has come only to realize that I love you more everyday. There is no doubt that loving you makes each day inspiring, despite life’s difficulties. I may not be able to tell how dear you are to me but I knew everyday I love you.

It is as if I’ve known you for a life time – I couldn’t ask for more, but you. The mystery that wraps your character seems like my own personal good morphine. I took so much of you, I am at bliss. You have become a life support I can no longer quit. There is no getting over you, everyday I love you.

Many times I tried to tell you, desired to let you know that I could go on loving you forever but my apprehension prevents me from doing so – I don’t want to lose you. I keep this love inside even when it hurts every so often. There are times the days go by very slow – they seem to end not, everyday I love you, though.

Dreams never come true until you came and show that they do. You are one person that incorporates and builds inspiration even when you choose to stay in the silence of time. You are my life, my breath, and the beat of my heart. Forever I’ll love you, forever I’ll stay – if forever turn into a lie, and when everything becomes transitory, it won’t change a thing. Everyday I love you.

A GOOD PERSON

A Good Person

What really constitutes a good person? This is one of the questions I have in my life that I long to find the answer for.

Does being an upright citizen equate to being a good man?

Does going to church regularly and paying your colleagues compliments that they are due make you virtuous and moral?

Is it enough to do good things for other people to make you an ethical and just human being?

With all the norms that the society we live in sets for being good, sometimes, it's just too easy to be bad. Whether that takes the form of gossiping about your co-worker, cheating on a test, coming late to work or merely having malicious thoughts of others, I've done all sort of things that I can never be proud of, nor justify.

Sometimes, it's just way too easy to be bad. The idea of being good is occasionally easier said than done. Doing something I already regard as greatly noble may not be good enough to the person sitting next to me.

Let's admit it, we can never please everyone, no matter how we try.

I've just recently stopped apologizing for my existence and started to accept and love myself. I have realized that the key to becoming a truly good person is in also accepting the parts of my personality that I am not very proud of.

I have stopped resisting my nature, instead, tried to work my way around it. I have come to admit that I am not perfect and I do succumb to temptation sometimes. What matters is the fact that everyday, I try to be a better person than I was yesterday. If I fail, I try again.

Somebody once said, "I may not be a nice person, but I am a good human being".

Being good is like beauty. It is a biased, prejudiced, over-rated and subjective issue. I've learned not to put too much pressure on myself with all the standards that our society has. Instead, I try to simplify them by struggling not to step on anyone's shoes. Then maybe... just maybe, I can be a good person in the process.

My 2008 Christmas Wishlist!

Given the spirit and the time of year, I began thinking of what I would really wish for this Christmas…I’d be very ideal since these are genuine wishes…I’ll keep my fingers crossed until these are realized.

1. On being a Teacher: I wish that I would become an inspiration to many to effect change in their lives and make young people realize that life is not as easy as they think about it. I wish that I won’t generate hate every time I go against their wrongdoings and mistakes – instead, I instill in their minds the beauty in admitting they were wrong and let them embrace the courage to stand on what they think is right. I wish my students would become the person they wanted to be in the upcoming new year – let them grow as individuals who went trough life in the past with beautiful lessons and make them happy and content with what they have in life.
2. I wish more people would observe Christmas (if they feel they must observe it) as a time to reach out to others with love and friendship rather than a time to "get stuff" for themselves.
3. I wish people would come to the realization that the whole world is, in reality, a single country, and that what is best for one country is best for all, and that what is best for the whole world is best for everyone in it.
4. I wish that my family stays together through thick and thin and that we always survive each passing day with a ready smile no matter how life puts us on tests and trials. I wish that all people who are dear to us stay healthy and continue blessing each other’s life with their own little ways.
5. I wish that my friends would find the joy deep within their hearts that we had become friends not because of what they can offer but because we feel this sense of belongingness and togetherness with each other’s company. I wish that what they would remember are the things that spell out happiness and not hatred.
6. Finally on being materialistic: I don’t really fancy stuffs but I’d wish for a camcorder, fancy clothes, and a place of my own... not that I don't want to live with my parents anymore it's just that I want to experience being independent... kind of preparing too if ever I’ll have an opportunity abroad... no need to be fancy here now... but a nice condo? Why not!

Happy Christmas for all!

YOU Inspire Me

I’ve been thinking about how inspiring you are.
I heard someone say that you’re inspiring. I saw you value the words and the person who said them. You were so taken by the compliment that you didn’t know what to do.
I think you’re inspiring too.
So I’m writing this for you and all of you who inspire me. Would you listen to what I mean by that?
In spire means to breathe.I don’t know your struggles well, but I know you’ve faced them down, and you’re still breathing. That alone is inspiring. Add that you’re fun and easy and it’s meta-inspirational. You motivate me to think I can blast through my own struggles and come out smiling.
In other words, you make my breathing easier.Isn’t that what inspiration means?
So please know . . .
When I say, “You’re inspiring,” I’m saying . . .
“You motivate me to keep going, doing the next thing, to keep breathing, to keep knowing that I’ll get there.”
What do you do when people say you’re inspiring?
Smile, breathe it in, and say ‘thank you,” with gusto to reinforce a positive change in the world. Glow more each time someone says you’re inspiring. So that more folks wonder who you are.
Smile. Breathe. Glow. Then . . .
Inspire everyone you can to inspire someone else down the line.
Get the whole world breathing again, right along with you.
What do you do keep inspired? Who inspires you?

True Friendship

True friendship is an amazing thing. Friends come and go all the time but true friendship lasts a lifetime. True friendship can be felt within the heart and this creates a special bond between two people. When we are children we make new friends all the time including imaginary ones. But it is when we are growing we develop special friendships with very special people. I know many people but have only few relationships which I consider to be true friendships. These are people that I love and share my life with. I have a very few special friends that make me laugh, keep me strong, encourage me to achieve my goals and contribute to make me the person who I am today. Friendship is almost like an antagonistic progress. If one of the two are sad the other cheers them up and vice versa. There are many songs that acknowledge friendship and show how it works both ways. For example:

“Lean on me, when you’re not strong, and I’ll be your friend, I’ll help you carry on, for it won’t be long, ’til I’m going to need somebody to lean on.” ~ Lean on me
And my personal favourite which holds many emotional meanings for me,it still brings tears to my eyes when I hear it. It.s a song from the musical Wicked called For Good.
I hope you like this song I feel its a truely magical song that really depicts the true meaning of friendship. To hear it as part of the musical go to http://ie.youtube.com/watch?v=MOxbNhB5dqg

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Friends are a critical component of our lives. Without them life can become monotonous. We need them in our childhood, teens and adulthood. They not only share our joy and happiness but sometimes our pain too. The painful times are what separate the real friends from the superficial ones. It is amazing how I have been friends with some people yet I cannot depend on them. Taking stock of some of my most recent experiences in life, it is very clear to me now who my real friends are. Whereas it may be true that I possibly can have a 100+ friends, but when it comes down to it, I can only probably rely on 2 or 3 friends to be there for me no matter what the situation demands of them. Funny how that works eh? Actually, I am not that surprised because proving one’s friendship is not an easy feat at all. I learned a lot of lessons from a friend in recent times. The most satisfying friendships are built on a foundation of balance and reciprocity. This belief would probably make sense if people close to you would not actually try to break your heart. I was trying to work things out for a friend but he was too blind and too shallow to see all the goodness from my intentions. I have changed a few things about myself because of him. I have learned to be selfish and also to think of myself first before anyone else. Much easier said than done, but all of my life I am so concerned about special people and their interests. It is such a terrible change to put my self’s needs ahead of his. It could be easy for him to go on failing things when I am actually trying my best to help him not to. I was devastated. I felt like my life long dream of building the foundation of our friendship had been crushed and that I was coming to a grinding halt. On his beckoning I did not lose heart. I got ready to understand him; I was not going to give up so easy. I never was a quitter. That time around, I was so forgiving. I tried to make things work now for both of us. I did not succeed. I gave up. I was devastated beyond words. I was embarrassed to tell him that all my efforts had amounted to nothing for the second time for he did not understand what’s going on. I don’t actually expect anything from him, it is better that way. But sometimes I wish I could make him understand that I am losing a part of my heart, leaving it bare every time I would show him that he means a lot to me so he could at least show some appreciation. But he never did, and I am thinking he never even once. I was hurt and so he is. I can forgive, I’m not sure if he can too.
The only question now is - are we still friends? Or the friendship is now over?