A Hard Way To Your Heart (Especially for You)

I did not give it a second thought. Yes, I am coming into a suggestion that I am only good at making my life dejected. No one in the world could tell that I am like one - I could fake a smile, give an empty grin or just sound a phony laughter. Life has countless reasons to be happy with it, just as it has countless reasons to be hurt - worst is when fate plays the biggest irony in life. It is easier to get hurt than become blissful.
You probably be asking why on earth I am once more talking about my own misery and that I am trying to be melancholic again - well i am obsessed with it. Despair can be clearly spelled out from my life, I am always uncertain what to feel everytime I deal with it.
It is very dreadful not knowing how to be happy. Life has many surprises, most of them are accidentals and we are simply caught unprepared. Love could save me, only trouble is love isn't there. Maybe it isn't really for me. I could easily fall for someone but realize it's hard to find a way to the heart. The significant other in an instant becomes my world. Maybe I should consider what a friend told me about loving; I've been in this state over and over but it seems I don't get tired of loving. Being lovesick becomes my addiction. Am I really hoping for something that I know might not even exist in my life? Could this be love? Is there really something heroic with enduring countless heartaches? What about tears that flooded my eyes? Are those for real?
No matter how many times I have been fooled and laughed at, I won't stop loving - even if loving could be the hardest way to your heart, I'd still do it. It could be ironic but it's true. I could not love you the way what real love should be. I just can't. The world does not uphold this kind of love I have for you. Love like life is so harsh but I'm still part of this game.
If the world will end tomorrow and the only thing that can save me is an elevator, I will look for you in a matter of seconds – leaving the elevator empty and useless. Maybe we will both live – and still come out smiling.